No Judgement Zone

Kids can be sensitive. Imagine that.

I’ve found that I get no where when I categorize some foods as good, and some as bad. The boys end up “suffering through” a negotiated set number of bites, barely escaping certain death. Spinach? I must be trying to poison them.

Part of my negotiating tactic too often is: “I let you eat junk outside of the house because I know at my table you get nutritious food.”

However, after listening to a podcast about teenage eating disorders, I realize I should probably change my tone. Subconsciously, I’m telling them:

• They make “junk” food decisions
• They pick out “bad” food
• They may, then, think they are “bad”
• “Good” food tastes like crap

Instead of eating what you think you need, your mom is telling you you need 10 grams of fiber this morning and antioxidants. Can’t they learn to trust themselves? Meh. Let’s keep going.

Another tactic that has worked better is to ask your kids what vegetables they like and integrate those as the heartier portion of your meals. Some hits around here are: green beans, corn, carrots, peas, and cucumbers. It can be as simple as boil- or microwave-in-a-bag, with some “butter,” salt and pepper. I’ve also had some success with shredding heartier greens into their iceberg salad. Kids love iceberg, but we know it doesn’t have nearly the amount of vitamins and minerals that masculine or collard greens have. However, it’s a start, and kids are eating salad, so this is a win.

As important as it is to not judge our kids eating habits, we have to go easy on ourselves, too.

• Are you not sitting down for family dinner every night?
• Do busy seasons at work mean that you have to address an email here and there during dinner?
• Your kids just say their day was “fine,” and conversation is stalled?
• A harried schedule leading you to the drive through more often than you’d like?

It’s OKAY. Being a parent can be hard. Serving vegan meals to your family nearly every night is hard. But serving hot food, PERIOD, every night during this busy season of life can be hard. We have to agree to give ourselves a break. Choose your hard during your busy seasons.

One step at a time. One meal at a time. We will get there. I’m a parent too, in the same boat as you. It’s gotten much easier, but it’s still work.

Try to remember:

1. Stop categorizing food as good or bad.
2. Encourage your kids to try new things and finish the vegetables they do like.
3. Go easy on yourself.