Coming Out As Vegan & Handling All Those Prying Questions

Where will you get your protein? How will you get your iron? You need milk for calcium. Don’t you know you can only get B12 from animals? Eating meat is natural! Don’t you see our ferocious K9s?! Plants have feelings, too, you know.

Get ready for all sorts of comments once you come out as vegan.

Doesn’t everyone become a nutritionist, historian, environmentalist, and scientist when you mention a way of life that doesn’t align with theirs? My best advice: just tell them you only eat salad, laugh, and move on. Save your breath unless they really won’t let up. It’s silly, but I’ve found that people get really defensive when they found out I went vegan, and I didn’t go out of my way to tell them.

It was usually when I didn’t put a burger on my plate at a cookout, only put sides on my plate at thanksgiving, or served guests a bean chili. People notice and they will likely pry. Here’s responses I’ve used when asked:

• “It’s just something I’m trying out” (for four years…)
• “It’s not as hard as I thought”
• “It’s not for everyone”
• “The roast you made does look great, though! Thanks again for inviting us over.”
• “I told myself if I really want meat, I’ll have it. I just haven’t had the urge yet.”

Do not tell people you’re vegan unless they ask about what you’re eating. You’ll fulfill a stereotype they’ll love to poke fun at you for. Your best bet it to give a short response, mention how good their meal looks, and change the subject.

If they really press, here’s some facts to handle those who won’t let up:

Protein

Okay, your friends may have to sit down for this one, but, get this: you can get protein from sources that aren’t milk and meat. I know, I know, it’s wild. Protein is just one of three macronutrients that your body needs to function. “Macronutrients are the nutritive components of food that the body needs for energy and to maintain the body’s structure and systems,” says MD Anderson Wellness Dietitian Lindsey Wohlford. Doctors and nutritionists can formulate different percentages of macros depending on someone’s health goals (weight loss, bodybuilding, etc.) What works for one person may not be best for another. However, Dr. Neil Barnard famously said in the “Forks Over Knives” documentary, that while he has treated countless patients for heart disease, he has never had a patient with a “protein deficiency.”

Protein can come from a variety of plant based sources:

• Whole grains (rice, quinoa, oats, breads and pastas)
• Legumes (fancy word for beans and lentils)
• Non-dairy alternatives, which most grocery stores carry now
• Vegetables (peas and broccoli are heavy hitters)
• Soy products (tofu, edamame, tempeh)
• Nuts, seeds, and nut butters
• Replacement meats, these have come so far, there is nearly nothing you can’t replace here
• Protein powders for smoothies and shakes made from peas, oats, seeds, soy, etc.

The best part about vegan protein sources? They don’t come with artery-clogging cholesterol or mucus-causing casein from dairy. Much of these instead come with nutritional benefits such as vitamins and minerals, phytonutrients, and fiber. You may want to ask your friends where they get their antioxidants.

Iron

Personally I make sure my daily gummy vitamin has iron, but I’m pretty sure I get it from what I eat (quite possibly from chocolate alone.)

The National Institute of Health recommends 7 mg daily for toddlers aged 1 – 3, 10 mg for children aged 4 – 8, and down to 8 mg for children aged 9 – 13. Teenage boys should get 11 mg, and teenage girls, 15 mg. Adult men need 8 mg, while women need much more, about 18 mg of iron a day.

Vegan sources of iron include nuts and seeds, chocolate, lentils and beans, dark leafy greens, mushrooms, pumpkin and squash, tofu, whole grains, and other salad greens. The good news for vegans is, iron is absorbed better with Vitamin C, which is present more abundantly in a vegan diet centered around fruits and veggies. Also, many ready-made foods like juice and bread are fortified with iron now, making it even easier to get the recommended daily intake.

Calcium

The fact is milk depletes calcium from your bones. We have been fed this lie that we need to drink the milk of another species to get micronutrients we need to live a healthy life. To me this is the weirdest one of all!

According to the Save Institute, “…like all animal protein, milk acidifies the body pH which in turn triggers a biological correction. You see, calcium is an excellent acid neutralizer and the biggest storage of calcium in the body is – you guessed it… in the bones. So the very same calcium that our bones need to stay strong is utilized to neutralize the acidifying effect of milk. Once calcium is pulled out of the bones, it leaves the body via the urine, so that the surprising net result after this is an actual calcium deficit.”

Children to adults need about 1000 – 1200 mg a day of calcium. The good news is it’s abundant in plant foods:

• Oranges – about 65 mg each
• Soymilk – about 300 mg a cup
• Broccoli – about 60 mg a cup
• White beans – about 160 mg a cup
• Spinach – about 45 mg a cup
• Chia seeds – 75 mg a tablespoon

This list is by no means exhaustive. Also, like iron, calcium is a common ingredient in multivitamins, and many grocery products like breads and juices are fortified with calcium, making it even easier to get your daily intake.

Further, while it doesn’t confirm causality, countries with the highest rates of hip fractures also have the highest rates of dairy consumption. A 12 year long Harvard Nurses’ Health Study found that those who consumed the most calcium from dairy foods broke more bones than those who rarely drank milk.

B12

Unless you’re eating nutritional yeast every day, most likely you’ll have to go out of your way to make sure you’re getting enough B12. Very low levels of B12 can cause anemia and even nerve system damage. B12 is commonly added to non-dairy milks and fortified cereals now, is found abundantly in nutritional yeast, or you can get it from a vitamin (my favorite way.)

People like to use the B12 argument to convince vegans that their diet isn’t “natural,” (like their way of getting it is, but we’ll get to that.)

Animals do not produce B12 naturally. In the wild, animals get B12 from eating vegetation. It’s a microorganism found in the ground. In short, they eat food with dirt on it, or eat animals who do.

Animals we eat from factories (most meat from grocery stores is factory farmed) receive B12 artificially. Believe me, they are not outside grazing on wild vegetation like the picture on the meat package.

So the next time someone says you can only get B12 from eating animals, know that is not true. The animals they’re eating get their B12 the same way most of us do, from a supplement. If we really wanted, we could go to the farmers market and eat some produce with dirt on it, but I’d rather not.

Once you can handle all the questions, coming out as vegan will be easier.

In short,

• We don’t need as much protein as the industry has led us to believe, and protein is abundant in plant foods, including grains, vegetables, beans, and nuts
• You can get iron from other sources than animals, such as from lentils, chocolate, nuts, and salad.
• Calcium from milk depletes your bones of vitamins and minerals, and can be found abundantly in plant based sources.
• We get B12 the same way carnivores do: from a supplement.

Again, just remember, it’s likely people will get very defensive, and you’re better off disengaging unless they really are interested. They’ll be looking for you to fulfill the “annoying vegan” stereotype, and don’t give them the satisfaction. Look at the food on your plate, and rest assured you’re better off.